Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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