At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize