I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I cut my penus on the lid.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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