Sponge bath it is.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize