im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
