listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
