He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
