He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
last night I used snow as a chaser
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
