I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
wow bdsm is so cute
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
