I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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