i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
