I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
