is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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