the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
