you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
