i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
