Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
