we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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