God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She is in my trunk
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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