Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
