Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize