I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
