hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
