You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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