I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
