im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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