All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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