Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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