I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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