she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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