Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she smelled like a LAN party
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
