just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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