Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize