I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
