Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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