his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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