Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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