We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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