If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Drake has all the answers
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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