I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
