i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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