God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
