I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
