I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
