Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
