Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
