Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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