She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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