Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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