did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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