You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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