She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
foreskin is a definite game changer
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
