Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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