TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
