you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i believe in u and ur pee
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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