doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
