She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
