i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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