ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
