im having a threesome with these popsicles
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
