I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
