It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
