I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
i need some magic done to my vagina
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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