it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
